I’m about six weeks into training for my first half marathon and one thing has become particularly clear- I am not a runner.  You see, there are recreational joggers and then there are people who are runners.  These are not the same thing.  Runners are the type of people who “just” run five miles.  Any time running five miles is preceded by the word just, that person is definitely a runner.  Runners check the weather to see what to wear on their run, joggers check the weather to see if they are going to run.

I admire runners.  It is like they are a different breed and not because they have some different physical trait.  The difference between a runner and a jogger is not the speed at which they run. No, being a runner is not a physical marker, but a mentality.   Runners approach running differently. They have a completely different mindset.

In physical therapy, I want to be the equivalent of a runner.  Just as...

“There’s nothing I can do,” I proclaimed adamantly.

It was the end of July and with the summer months had come the much promised drought of athletes.  School was out, most sports were on a break, and a majority of athletes were on vacation.

I noticed the number of athletes on my schedule begin to decline, but I was in denial that I would be affected by what everyone told me was coming.  

By no means do I dislike my other patients, but active individuals are my favorite to work with.  Having a few throughout the day is exciting and makes me that much better for my non-active patients.

Yet, I suddenly found my caseload had one lone active patient.  I was in a clinic with at least six other therapists that also wanted a similar caseload.  Between the summer months and the competition, I knew my caseload was doomed. The worst part, I couldn’t see an end in sight.  I kept getting unlucky with the evaluations that were on my...

Graduate PT school, check. Complete a sports residency, check. Pass the SCS exam, check.

My resume was growing, but my engagement in physical therapy was shrinking. The last two months had been spent studying for the Sports Certified Specialist Exam. It was the last thing on my list of things to accomplish. And now that I had, I felt disappointed. Is this all there is?

My notes were done, I wasn’t tired, and I didn’t feel burnt out. But, I had no excitement for physical therapy. Doing a residency and passing my specialty exam was supposed to inspire me, but here I was just going through the motions day in and day out.

Continuing education courses suddenly became my drug of choice. I’d feel so good after going to a course that I would convince myself I needed more. I kept going to courses, feeling excited about what I learned, and then slowly losing interest. I repeated the pattern over and over, but eventually realized it was only a temporary solution.

I knew I...

“Is it Friday yet?” I proclaimed jokingly at 8:45 on Monday morning. Truth be told, I was only half joking. I was already counting down the hours until lunch at which point I would then start counting the hours until the end of the day. More than likely, I would then start counting down the days until the beloved Friday appeared.

I didn’t think much of it. I wasn’t alone. I exchanged similar texts with many friends. I considered myself normal. Everyone loves the weekend.

But, I went from looking forward to the weekend to needing the weekend. I would hit this wall on Wednesday that was nearly impossible to get through.

Halfway through Wednesday, I would find myself impatient, annoyed and frustrated. It would take all of my energy not to check out. Feeling exhausted, I would use Wednesday-Friday nights and the weekend as a way to recharge.

I’d watch Netflix, go out, and do anything to take my mind off physical therapy. If I wanted any sort of engagement...

“How long have you been a PT?” my patient asked as we started to wrap up her initial evaluation.

“Almost two years” I answered.

“Do you like it?” she continued.

“I do.” I raised my voice slightly and repeated, “Yeah, I do.” I added a reassuring smile and a slight head nod at the end of the statement.

We finished chatting, she walked away to schedule her next appointment, and I went to the back office to sit down. My elbows met the desk and my hands found my forehead immediately. I was tired after a long day, and now I also felt uneasy. Could she tell? No, I think I sold it.

I looked around to see if anyone had overheard our conversation or had sensed any of my insincerity. Nope, everyone seemed busy. I exhaled in relief. My secret was still safe.

The last thing I wanted my co-workers to know was that I didn’t like physical therapy. Really, I didn’t want anyone to know. Who spends seven years in school and...

I’m sitting on an airplane right now.  I have been for a little over an hour and that’s after sitting in the airport for seven hours.  I’m not worried about the flight taking off as much as I’m worried about the upcoming week. I have a lot to accomplish and not as much time as I’d like to get it all done.  It is not only that I have a lot of things to do, but I have a lot of different things.  I’m going to write, make slides, film, grade, review material for an upcoming weekend course, and treat patients.  Sometimes I can’t help but think that going in multiple directions is a bad idea. It seems appealing to only have to focus intently on one thing.

Over the weekend, I heard the saying, “He who chases both rabbits catches none.”  I’m certainly chasing more than one rabbit. I found myself questioning not necessarily the amount that’s on my plate, but the variety.  Should I focus on...

The sip of dessert wine tasted amazing especially in contrast to the merlot I had just tried.  The moscato blend was welcomed as it washed away the “cigar and wood notes” of the merlot that the description promised.  After the tasting, we decided that we would buy a glass and sit on the patio.

I didn’t hesitate as I ordered the moscato blend and made my way outside.  Halfway through the glass I looked at it as if it were a traitor. It was nauseatingly sweet.  The first few sips were enjoyable, but with each sip the sweetness became more and more overwhelming.  How could something I had enjoyed so much during the tasting turn out to be so disappointing? Well, I think it is The Taste Test Illusion.

It reminded me of the Pepsi Paradox.  When Pepsi and Coke went head to head in a taste test, most chose Pepsi even though more people reported liking Coke better.  The people weren’t lying when they reported liking Coke more, but...

“And that’s why I probably shouldn’t do a residency,” I concluded and looked back at my professor for her reaction.

She paused and I couldn’t tell if she agreed with the list of reasons I had just rattled off or not. 

“Sounds like you’re scared,” was all she said.

Scared!?  Had she not listened to me?  I had just listed poor timing, less financial compensation, increased work requirements, needing to take the boards early... and her reply was that I was scared.

After a long pause, she had me do an exercise… and I want you all to do it as you read.

Give yourself 20 seconds and try and spot every blue item you can in the room.  You’re going to need to remember the items so try to make a mental list.

… Seriously, do it before you keep reading.

Okay, now after reading the next sentence, close your eyes and do what it says:

Close your eyes and recall as many red items in the room as you...