“How long have you been practicing?” she asked me.
“Almost 5 years,” I said, thinking nothing of it.
“Wow, I would have never expected it to be that long,” she quickly replied.
I went from relaxed to uneasy instantaneously. Wow, five years is a long time. Is she asking because I seem like a novice? Am I still a novice? I guess I’m not as far as I should be or as far as I thought I would be. She’s right, I should have accomplished more than this by now. What have I been doing for five years?
I thought all of these things in the slight pause before she followed it up with, “You look like you’re 21.”
This patient encounter happened a while ago, but the uncertainty it caused stuck around for a while. In fact, I’m not sure it ever left. I think its been there all along. Since PT school, I’ve wondered if I am enough and if I’m doing enough. The doubts and...